Father Lemieux

Friends are essential to the life of every Christian.  Friends are an important part of who we are and who we are becoming.  We grow as people with good and healthy friendships; being around people who love us, support us, encourage us and who can also help us to see where we struggle.  People who are honest with us and provide us with honest feedback based on a context of knowing who we are. 

There have been a few men I have met in these past six years, convinced that one of the reasons God might be calling them to the priesthood was because they had no real desire for friendship.  As a Vocation Director, it’s important for me not to dismiss men who share this, but to help understand what makes them see a desire to be alone and without others “as a gift”.  Of course there could be many reasons; they were hurt by people in their lives who should have loved them, family or friends.  Usually it isn’t too hard to understand once we listen to the story of someone’s life.

It is erroneous and flawed thinking of course.  To not want to be with people and to desire good and meaningful friendships and relationships with others, is not only not a gift, but it is a necessity for the priest.  Men who are to be priests must desire good, meaningful and healthy friendships with both men and women to be balanced men and in the future balanced priests.  I would, however, emphasize that friendships need to be good, meaningful, healthy and balanced.  Often what leads a person to not want friendship is a deficiency in what they have had as friends.

We celebrate today as Catholics, the lives of St. Basil the Great and St. Gregory Nazianzen who both became bishops and are remembered as “Doctors of the Church”, in other words offered us many things very significant in the living out of our Catholic Christian faith.  These were two very intellectual men who encouraged and supported one another in deep and meaningful friendship.  They were competitive in their intellectual pursuits, but supporting, encouraging and learning from one another still.  They sought the path of holiness together and embodied the true meaning of Christian love for the people in their lives but for each other as brothers in the Lord.  These two men brought many people with themselves to Heaven.  Their friendship undoubtedly made both of them wake every day wanting to be better Christian men and they both helped one another become that.

This is what we should all want; I know I do.  I feel blessed by the friends that God has graced my life with.  The older I get, having lived long enough to have known good friendship and not-so-good friendship; I am thankful for the people in my life who help me become a better version of myself day by day.  I am thankful for the time I can spend with these people and today as I think of these two great saints, I continue to hope and pray for my dear friends as I know that they pray for me too.

There are many things a Vocation Director looks for in a candidate for priesthood, but few things more important than what a man thinks and how he acts towards women.  For so many reasons, its important for me to understand how men who are considering the priesthood think of women.

Many years ago, I worked with a religious sister who shared with me some of her experiences over a lifetime, nearly 50 years as a religious sister including the many times she had been demeaned, condescended to, disrespected, marginalized or made to feel less important in dignity by priests and sadly even bishops.  She WAS NOT (and is not) an angry woman and I was glad she shared that with me.  It raised my own awareness, as a seminarian then, that we men have work to do.

It can be a great challenge for a great many people to be a part of (our) Church that seems to be dominated by men, as we have an all-male clergy.  I know that there are many people who struggle with this.  I know that as a priest, the single-most asked question in the classroom by students is “why can’t girls (women) be priests?”  My answers are often long and theological with reference to Scripture and Tradition, and they are often, I’m sure, unsatisfying to the inquirer.  I also consider my friend’s experience and I add to it that we priests need to be aware that we have often distorted and at times have disrespected the office we hold as Priests and Bishops.  What I offer people is that Priests and Bishops were never supposed to treat women as anything less than equal and the power and authority given by ordination is meant to bring salvation and a deeper encounter with our Lord and Saviour, rather than to be lorded over people or used to control or exert power.  I admit we’ve come a long way in understanding that, but we have a long way to go.  As Pope Francis says “there’s no Church without women” and while women can’t be priests, “[women] cannot be limited in the role and importance; the part they play” in bringing Jesus Christ and the Glory of God through the Church to the world.

And who better to cite as the most powerful example of this than Mary Most Holy?  To look and reflect upon the life of Mary, Mother of God, is to realize that God has made women to be great!  She was given a vocation, a role, a part to play for all eternity that no one else could do – and she was given this role as a woman of faith.  No one in all of human history was closer to God than she was.  No one has the prayer power (the ability to intercede in prayer) for us that she does.  Mary wasn’t an Apostle, nor was she a priest or a bishop.  But if there was an Apostle or disciple who might have considered treating Our Lady with less than the fullest dignity she deserved, we could only imagine what Our Lord Himself would have had to say about that!

As a Vocation Director, it is of prime importance to look for men who understand this or are capable of seeing things in this way.  Our future priests must have a deep respect for women already lived out and obvious in their lives.  They must value equally and without exception women.  A priest who wants to be “with the boys” and not spend his life with good female friends as well is problematic and hopefully we are all becoming more discerning and realistic in helping anyone who thinks this way with the issues that have led them to this way of thinking.

The role for women in the Church, in the world, as Christians witnessing to us IS GREAT and we celebrate that today as we celebrate the life of one of the greatest woman, Mary the Mother of God.

Throughout all of human history we have struggled to meet God.  We may meet people in our lives who think that God, religion, Christianity, perhaps faith in general is for the weak-minded and simple among us.  There are many valid reasons that people feel that way.  Upon first glance, there are many “religious” people who have rigid beliefs of “it’s us versus them”.  At second and third glance; many terrible and destructive things have happened with “religious people” placing the Stamp of God upon hateful and destructive actions.  If I seem sympathetic – I’m not; if I seem understanding – I am!  I was one of “those people” who for so many years had a dismissive, hateful, negative attitude towards religious people for what I believed religion was all about.  And given where I live, it was directly towards the only religion I had much of an awareness of at the time – Christianity.  I could never imagine myself a Christian from all the “poor examples” I had met in my life.

But I will be the first to admit that I had only a vague understanding of what it meant to be a Christian then.  I did not want or feel I needed to understand anything more than I did to dismiss religious people altogether.  My ignorance was bliss for me then too, so I understand why it seems that this attitude and mentality doesn’t seem to move much.  I was so arrogant and proud that I could not be moved on the subject.  Then I met some real Christians; men and women who meekly and humbly tried their best and when I got to know them, I came to see they were ordinary folk trying to be the best people they could be.  I realized my preconceived ideas needed to be challenged and my understanding needed to be deepened.  While dedicated Christian Disciples showed me what a Christian really was and what we are meant to be, I am also aware that God gave me the grace of an open heart to see it in the first place.

It was through Jesus and His Disciples (these good Christians I came to know), that I really came to meet God through His Son, Jesus.  I didn’t realize I was hungry for the food that Jesus offered, but when I came to realize – Jesus gave me what I needed.  Jesus filled me in my need.

Throughout human history, so many of us haven’t been aware of the hunger and need we have and our hearts remained closed to what Jesus has to offer.  I speak about this from experience!  I was for a very long time one of those people.  Jesus reached me…He gave Himself for me…He brought me in love…to Him.  

I pray daily now, for those who were like me; who may see me and criticize me for being one of these weak-minded hypocrites.  I have my moments still where I am these things; the difference now is that each criticism that is made of me for this is an occasion I am reminded I need to draw closer once again to the Lord who loves me!

Friends, let us consider how Jesus fills us in our own need.  Let us consider how we come to the Lord for loving, healing, growth, guidance.  Let us consider what we are given when we do.